Il Capo Redstones!

Il Capo Redstones!

So, can’t really tell you too much about Redstones because they are updating their website but look out for the new and improved one Coming Soon!

However, it might be a conspiracy theory so that Il Capo gets all the attention but they don’t need it because they've it all going on!

Now I can tell you everything you need to know about IL boss di tutta la migliore cucina in Airdrie and Uddingston, namely Il Capo which now has a very strong  presence in both locations!

We visited their fabulous venue in Airdrie last year and the The Mary voted their Focaccia the best of 2016.  That in itself is quite and acheivment but they also won best pasta and were runners up for best chef in the 2016 Scottish Italian Awards!

This is the very dish that won the accolade!

It’s hard to believe so much could be achieved in one year but with hard work, dedication and passion they have made the business an unbelievable success and are now doing the same in Uddingston.

They say it takes more than cooking exquisite food to make a memorable meal and at Il Capo they offer and intimate atmosphere in absolutely the right surroundings.  The service on offer is attentive and personal in order to make your visit memorable and unique.  The staff were lovely.  The very gorgeous girls, Federica and Demitra were charming.  

Il Capo offer good, Italian food prepared in an authentic way along with a superb selection of wines.  All of this in a friendly and cosy atmosphere at competitive prices.  

Even before I go I'm impressed to be told on the phone that if I book after a certain time I might not be able to take advantage of the special menu and I was able to reconsider the time of my vist so I could have that option.

Fabulous level of service right from the words, "Hello I'd like to book a table!"   

The concept at Il Capo is simple.

• ü  Take fresh produce
• ü  Create incredible dishes
• ü  Make sure it is authentic
• ü  Give great service
• ü  Make the customer want to come back 

These are the things that tick my boxes and they are not easily ticked.

Il Capo in Redstones has been offered an amazing opportunity in that  they are serving breakfast, lunch and dinner but also have the added value of doing Weddings, First Holy Communions and wait for it...

Funerals. 

Now I got very excited about that because there's fantastic scope in the hospitality business to make funerals a lot more fun and interesting. 

George, The Mary and I talked about funerals we had been to that lasted all day and of how we had been thrown out of many a venue and decanted to another place.  That will not happen at Redstones because of the epiphany I had last night which I gifted to George!  

This will remain a secret for the time being.  Stay awake for this announcement!

At my funeral I want to have a Guy with a Saxophone who follows my coffin then stands over me playing blues till the very last puff of smoke.  Bliss!  

The starter platter we had was orgasmic but I had to ask for a screen to be put round The Mary becasue she was salivating and making so much noise everyone was looking over. 

We then ordered from the special menu and had the award winning Garganelli saltimbocca pasta and a main course of Roast lamb with purple sprouting broccoli with dauphinois potato and roast vegetables with a blackcurrant and thyme jus.  The Mary also drooled her way through that!

Me on the other hand, I was drooling over George who is so hansome my eyes were hurting.  He is also very clever and charming.  When I come back in my next life I will spend my time cultivating my talents, brain and skills in order to find me a Greek George of my very own.  I've told him I'll look out for a good woman for him.  I'll be like his very own Fanny Brice!

We were too full and satisfied to have dessert. I finished off with the fabulously, delicious Aroma Coffee brought to me by the very handsome Tony.  That coffee is my very favourite and in the same manner as The Mary judges The Focaccia, I am the coffee expert and Aroma is the very best on the 
market!

Arrivederci a la prossima!

Mx

To book click on the links below!

Il Capo Airdrie

Il Capo Redstones Uddingston

Fanny Trollop's!

Fanny Trollop's

So tonight me and The Mary traipsed up to Fanny Trollop’s Bistro in the Lower West Side. 

In Fanny's you can enjoy some of Scotland’s finest, seasonal produce in a friendly, atmospheric and busy neighbourhood bistro, popular with locals. They ‘specialise’ in fish and seafood but are also adept with Scottish beef, lamb, fowl and game.  Looks as if they are very accommodating and adaptable to function both seasonally and according to clientele.   

Fanny constantly updates the menu to reflect what is currently in season and available from their suppliers.  Where possible, they try to source locally or from trusted suppliers who care deeply about our products. If you can’t see anything you like on the menu, they're happy to cook something you will like (within reason!). 

So, if you want something out of the ordinary just as and Fanny will deliver!  As long as it is freely and legally possible because they don’t want any trouble with the law or health and safety.  Like most of the fannies I know they are game, easy-going and accommodating. A bit like other professionals in any large City who adapt their ‘Sticky Buns’ and services according to taste and needs of their Clients.

It's posible the lassie in the photo is thinking about going to the Sandyford in the morning.  She looks a bit distressed!  Her wee pussy also looks a bit apprehensive!

Fanny's is situated 1 minute away from the very famous Sandyford Medical Centre so if you ever have cause to visit the clinic just ask directions to Fanny’s and you’re nearly there.  Saves you any embarrassment.  I’ve never had any cause to visit the clinic but I might go early one morning for research purposes.  

So, you could say that the Sandyford and Fanny Trollop’s go hand in fist, so to speak!

As you all know, I love playing about with words so I’ve been particularly engaged with the Fanny and the Trollop this week!

The origin of the word Fanny goes way back to 1920’s America, so it’s their fault it’s not as nice as the British, more exotic sounding Vulva.  (Circa 1879). 

“You’re a pure Vulva!” is not quite as offensive as the usual Glasgow insult and has such a nice ring to it that you can call me a Pure Vulva anytime.  I think it’s a lovely expression and I’m sure I’ve seen the name on a list of popular baby names. 

Vulva Mazzone; you had a lucky escape Rosaria!

In the USA the word fanny refers to bum, buttocks, rumps, bottom but my own preference is peach because recently that’s how mine was referred to.   So, if I ever buy a ‘bum bag’ I will call it my ‘peach pouch’ instead of ‘fanny pack’ or ‘hindquarter's handbag’.

Also, I might be a bit of a fanny but I’ve never been a Trollop because the definition of that is a woman who’s had a lot of sexual relationships without any emotional involvement: a sexually disreputable or promiscuous woman or an untidy, slovenly woman; also known as a slattern. 

I slut you not but If I come back in another life that’s exactly what I’m going to be and I will make sure my Lady Bits are spurted with as much love juice as Pooh Bear’s Honey Pot and I’ll be explored more than Ariel’s Underwater Treasure Grotto!

I do recommend a visit Fanny Trollops and I hope you have as good an experience as me and The Mary.  The starter of the midget, Haggis Pie with cheesy mash was deliciously served up by the ridiculously, delectable Rory!

Then the main course I had of the pan, fried fish, ‘dish of the day’ came with steaming, creamy, stir fry, served on a bed of seasonal vegetables that slipped down my throat so easily I felt like I was hardly making ay effort to swallow!  The Mary had the chicken and I had to apologise to Rory for the noise she was making.  It sounded like the soundtrack of an old Emmanuelle film.  She was having such good food time.

All this talk of sluts and lady bits has given me quite an appetite and I feel quite lustful.    I swear to God I think The Mary and I have missed our calling.  We could both have made much better use of our Cho-chas!

So it’s onwards and upwards to the next thing, whatever that might be, with a new and invigorated hunger and enthusiasm for anything that comes my way.

In my next life I will be taking my Penis Fly Trap down to Petticoat lane and like Pretty Woman I might just find my very own Lawrence of A Labia and I’ll puff up his pillow forever and we will both  live happily ever after!

See you next time!

Rx