FAMS

FAMS

Families Against Murder and Suicide

On Sunday I took part in a charity event run by FAMS which encourages people to get together, irrespective of age, gender, status, sexuality, wealth or indeed achievement to raise awareness about murder and Suicide.  Quite often children are excluded from discussion and I was guilty of this when my own mother killed herself.  I don’t say ‘killed herself’ lightly but, that’s what she did.  Some people refer to this as ‘committing suicide’ and this suggests criminality instead of honour, morality, decency and trustworthiness.  Is severe depression then a crime and what can we do to smash the stigma?

These are the words of one of the founder of FAMS.

“FAMS encourage family events, Suicide is a family affair, in that it affects everyone in the family, irrespective of age.

Sometimes children are excluded from discussions and information sharing, in the belief that they are being protected; these children are often referred to as the "forgotten victims."

Our event allows the opportunity for siblings, children and parents etc. who have been affected by suicide or suicidal behaviours; to come together in an atmosphere that encourages dialogue.

Additionally, to demonstrate to families that they are not alone. FAMS events are open and free of any cost.”

Ann Marie Cocozza (Co-founder and Advisor to the Board of FAMS (Families & Friends Against Murder and Suicide).

The people at FAMS work tirelessly and for little reward.  Ann Marie inspired me to become involved last year and when I spoke to some people on the walk around the park I realised it was possibly the only chance to interact with others that brought them out of the house.  Maybe even saving their lives, for that day.  Depression and suicidal thoughts might come to everyone at some moment in their lives but for some it’s a demon that lives within them every waking hour. 

In Scotland there are 10 mental health, psychiatric doctors to ever 100.000 patients.  I heard that on the radio coming to work this morning. And couldn’t get he figure out of my head.  We need to talk about this very ‘secretive’ issue and rip this rampant illness to pieces.  Let’s start the way FAMs did, with a conversation.

North Lanarkshire Council were very generous with time and resources this year and are themselves raising awareness with their own initiatives in recognising the importance of this conversation.

Once upon a time two colleagues; Meg and Kevin began to chat and realised they had both suffered the most traumatic grief possible with the death of a loved one.  Here is Meg’s story: 

Daily Record Article

“Meg’s son, Steven McCloy, died through suicide at the tender age of 17 after being the victim of bullying.

Kevin’s cousin, Paul Gerard McGilvray, was murdered in a senseless, unprovoked attack by strangers when he was 20 years old.

Meg and Kevin shared stories of the shock, loss, grief and isolation endured by the families and friends of Steven McCloy and Paul Gerard McGilvray. They both agreed that they had found it difficult to find the practical and emotional peer support that they needed.

Kevin organised a meeting with two mothers, Meg (mother of Steven) and Roslyn McGilvray (mother of Paul). This meeting led to a thought, the thought then turned to a dream and then the dream evolved into a single goal; to offer support to people who had been in the same pain as their respective families, in a safe, confidential and non-judgmental manner.

The journey to establish FFAMS as a registered charity with the Office Scottish Charities Regulator (OSCR) was a steep learning curve for all concerned. However, driven by the desire to help and support others, FAMS soon had a Board of Trustees, an Accountant, a Constitution and most importantly – a sense of purpose. Our efforts were finally rewarded on 23rd October 2014, when we were awarded full charity status, No. SC045179.

Since then the charity has grown organically through the support of volunteers and members, every one of whom have been touched by the traumatic grief, devastation and isolation associated with murder and suicide. With the continued support of our sponsors and fundraising events, we aim to deliver a wide range of services that will include one to one and group counselling, telephone support, Befriender peer support, advocacy and practical advice.”

This is very close to my heart and we can all help by simply starting a conversation or come along to help out at the next walk.  It’s a great day out and all you have to do is walk and talk, to someone, anyone and who knows, you might just save a life or yourself!

Let’s walk and talk about Suicide!

Mx

Get Involved - Contacts!

http://fams.chat/about/

https://twitter.com/ffams_uk?lang=en

http://fams.chat/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/annmariecocozza/?ppe=1

This is my story and writing this helped me to cope with the unimaginable suffering caused by a Mother who left me.  I've been on the edge of darkness and can only say for people who live with this disease we all need to be talking and walking beside each other  in unity!

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