Sarti's

Sorted at Sarti's

The Mary surprises me tonight and tells me she’s booked a new restaurant in town and we’re having a wee Italian lesson beforehand.

Well I never!
And actually, she hadn't!

You see, she was hovering over the Sarti website whilst balancing a four-year-old child on her head, at the same time as knitting a patchwork quilt. So, although we did have a table booked, she would not be learning Italian and would still be ordering a ‘decapitated lassie’ for the foreseeable future. La Lingua Italiana would need to wait awhile. The only thing she’ll be getting her tongue and lips around tonight would be a bottle of Morretti or a diet coke!

She has good intentions does The Mary, like the time she tried to do my make-up and I looked like Bella Houston. I love Bella but she has a certain maximalist trend whereas I like a more minimal polish. Have you seen the new beauty trend for the winter by the way?

It’s perfect, if, like me, you’re constantly reapplying your lipstick. It’s the ‘just-snogged look’ which is all messed-up with diffused edges. The Mary said it’ll get everyone talking and thinking I’ve had a bit of action. I need to make it clear that I do get a bit of ‘the other’, when and where I want it, and on my terms. I chastely like to think some things should not be broadcast!

The brothers Piero and Sandro Sarti, along with a good friend Gerry O'Donnell opened their first 'alimentari' in Wellington Street in Glasgow and it was revolutionary for its time. The idea of a restaurant where you could buy food and kitchen staples was a simple but fresh idea. It was 1992 and as Liam Brady was struggling to get a good result the rest of Europe was wrestling with the Maasticht Treaty.

Sartis’ soon became the talking point of the city and along with La Lanterna, Eusebi, Mediterraneo and Celino have now set the benchmarks for others in Glasgow. I’ve seen hundreds of Italian restaurants open and close in the city over the years but some, like the ones I’ve mentioned, will always be there and are my go to places when I need to have faith in good, Italian food. I’m very open, liberal and love to experience new things but there are collaborations out there winning awards who have never pounded a piece of doppio zero Dallaria in their broad-based Kitchen.

That is perfectly Ok but call it something else.  Kastriot’s in Bailleston is one of the most reputable places to eat fresh Mediterranean cuisine in Glasgow and the owners are the nicest people you could meet. Their lamb dish with Pasta is as good as anything I’ve had in my friends’ kitchens in Italy but they don’t profess to be Italian or call it an Italian name.  Lines are being blurred and plates are being bastardised so much so that I have the fear of being presented with lentil ravioli filled with curry flavoured haggis.

FFS!

What would Aldo Zilli, Gino D'Campo or Antonio Carluccio or think of that?

Sarti have stayed true to traditional and when me and The Mary stepped in it was like flipping into a beautiful memory of times long gone when Italians spoke Italian and cooked authentic cibo fatto alla casalinga! When Antonino greeted me at the table I had a flashback of gate-crashing
Renato’s Cimmino’s wedding in Sorrento. After a very late and boozy dinner in Deliceto we travelled nearly 200km to Sorrento and turned up at the church.

Leslie-Anne and Renato got such a shock when we walked up to the alter and kissed them auguri. They didn’t even know we were in Italy. We were very politely invited to the wedding and we had the most fabulous two days. That’s Italians and Italy for you. Welcoming, polite and all the better for our cultural osmosis. Although we have had a gradual and unconscious assimilation of ideas I do think Scotland and Italy are a perfect match but please wake up and stay true to your kitchen because…

“A ogni uccello il suo nido è bello.”

See you the next time!
Me and The Mary!
Mx

Learn Italian the quick way.
I'm getting The Mary these for her Christmas!

  

Angels Hotel!

 Harry's Angels!

When I spoke to The Mary about going to Harry’sBar and mentioned an Angel she said I was more like the Devil in Cherub’s clothing, insinuating I dress inappropriately.  That is a total misconception by someone who knows nothing about fashion!

She then starts harping on about how the F*** we’re going to get to Florence and back in time for Coronation Street and is the imaginary Angel going to be giving us a lift on her cloud?  Honestly, I know she lives in a mad house, looks after 4 weans and is a modern day equivalent of Miss Hannigan but it’s hard for me too.  Trying to think of places to go, book the table, get ready and continually check my diary to make sure I’m on track with social events.

In the eyes, or more precisely, the Website, of visitscotland.com Uddingston appears to be famous because of a biscuit and I have a problem with this.  The town is 7 miles from Glasgow City Centre has so much more going on.  Firstly, the entrance to Bothwell Castle gives a gateway to one of the finest 13^th Century, stone built castles in the country and many lives were lost in a fight to retain this landmark.  Overlooking the River Clyde its location is stunning and this monument has place in history and should be recognised on any WWW platform before any biscuit, no matter how famous, is mentioned!

There’s  also an 18 hole golf course with excellent greens, challenges players of all levels and is recognised as one of the ‘premier golf facilities in central Scotland’.  There are practice nets, putting greens and they take pride in their swish clubhouse.  The town additionally boasts many other sporting facilities including rugby, cricket and hockey. 

So, stick that in your Tunnock’s teacake and munch it!  

Me and the Mary arrive at The Angel’s Hotel, not having booked and remember we’d done this before and didn’t get a table.  This time we’re in luck and the very lovely Julie leads us to a position in the middle of the Sala.  Now, it must be my up-dragging but I can't sit with my back to, either the door, or a roomful of people with potential weapons, such as knives and forks.  So I asked to be moved.  The Mary is raging raging,

“We’re lucky enough to get a table in the first place. Now your fear of crockery will get us chucked out again!”

I know how dangerous these deterrents can be because I once assaulted a guy by sticking a teaspoon up his nose right in the middle of a date.  He suggested, maybe I shouldn’t have sugar in my coffee.  I suggested he could perhaps save up for some enhancement surgery.  He’s lucky he took me for coffee and not dinner. Imagine the damage  I’d have done, to his scanty appendage, with a steak knife.  On second thoughts a butter knife might have sufficed!

Anyway what a great job they’ve done on the refurbishment in Angels and it’s now open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  They use local produce and I love the menu including most of my favourite pub food.  Call them classics if you like and, even in the very beautiful conservatory, I’m delighted that Harry’s Bar have stuck to what they’re good at...
Fabulously good food in a friendly, comfortable environment. 

I had Steak Pie and The Mary ordered fish and chips both priced very reasonably under a tenner.

When the scran arrived we were delightedly in our element that the hipster trend had not infected the heart and sentiment of the place.  I like my food on a plate,  plain and simple and that’s what we got. 

It was filling, well cooked and very plainly presented.  No hiding mediocre food under a veil of baskets, teapots, lego or on a shovel. I remember once getting my soup, in a jar, served with a straw and nearly died when a pea shot through and stuck in my oesophagus. When the bill arrived we were surprised to see the main courses were 2 for 1.  We humbly paid the bill feeling like thieves as we wondered out into the night but we did leave a hefty tip!

Charlie who brought our food was the most charming and chatty bloke and I'd go back just to see him!
Charlie is me darlin'.....

On the way out he Mary noted that they had rooms upstairs and hit out with,

“I see they have rooms upstairs.

Do you want me to ask if they rent them by the hour for you?”

Cheeky bastard!

So, whether it’s a birthday, wedding, engagement or simply a family dinner Angels is the place to go.  Food, atmosphere, location, setting and price range are all within the reach of everyone, even townies like me and The Mary.  

Oh, and if you do strike it lucky on a date or meet someone in the bar and they are up for it, they do have beautiful, comfortable rooms upstairs from about £70 a pop. 

Go on she might be worth it.  Be proactive book your table and a room now!

Who knows?  Harry could meet his Angel and end up in Heaven for under a hundred quid with the 2 for 1 deal!

See you the next time!

Me and The Mary!
Mx

Tunnock's Memorabilia! 

  

The Gardener!

The Gardener - Ashton Lane

The votes are in.  

The niche has been carved and The Gardener is a Hit!

The second I stepped through the door I loved it.  The Gardener is sleek, sharp, fresh and friendly with an herbal twist.  Ramsay Morris is an apothecary who creates potions of deliciousness using a plethora of natural elements fresh from the meadows.  Not sure how this would go down in the East End of Glasgow but the West Enders will relish this concept with an educated inquisitiveness.

Get prepared for the probing by a tough audience Ramsay although I’m sure you’ll savour the challenge!

When I saw the header ‘Coffee and Cocktails’ I was immediately drawn to the idea because I don’t drink but most of my friends do and The Gardeners’ premise intrigued me. I had no hesitation in accepting the invitation from Donal Hurrell to go along for the VIP event and that’s exactly how I was made to feel.  Although I did see the photographer Daniel McAvoy taking lots of photos of the more photogenic guests.  I think he mistakenly left me out and it had nothing to do with me not being they ‘Girl’ they were expecting!

Seedlip is the base of the Non-alcoholic cocktails and after my first one I was dizzy with excitement because, at last, someone had created a cocktail for me that didn’t make me feel like a 4 year old child being patronised with a grown up drink.  I would not even refer to these mocktails because it would be insulting to the product.  There is nothing disingenuous about what was on offer in the alcohol free menu.  There was honest passion created by the wizard who is Ramsay Morris.

I’d never heard of Seedlip before and was fascinated by the history and science of its distillery.  Founded by Ben Branson it’s the world’s first non-alcoholic spirit.  Now, I’ve always said I would rather have water or coffee than pretend to be drinking but this is an exception because it really did lift my mood.  We can sometimes forget the origin of alcohol was medicinal and used in many ‘holistic’ remedies.  Like many modern day, mood altering medicines, it very quickly shifted mainstream and was used for pleasure.

I suppose it was the cocaine of its day and as early as 1863 an Italian/Corsican created Vin Mariani; a mixture of wine and cocaine which was sold as an appetite suppressant.  Eventually, directed by changes in US laws and due to pressure from the Klu Klux Klan, it was diluted and basterdised by John Pemberton in 1885 transforming it into the osmosis we now know as Coca Cola.  Cocaine is still endemic in our society and there’s even such a thing as “Crack-lip” caused by the heat of the pipe.  Fabulous marketing tagline there for Blistex.

The only sensation my lips got in The Gardener were from Lipseed and eating the fabulous food.  I devoured the small plates of deliciousness so quickly I bit my tongue and lip at the same time.  The food was outstanding, service informative and pleasant, without being intrusive and the atmosphere was sophisticated and chilled.  Our servers Jack and Amy were twin-like in their polite, smiling, efficient, polished but informal delivery when supporting my addiction to coffee.  Jordan (Pronounced Jor-Dan) thanked us for coming and was a very glamorous and professional Host!

The Gardener use their very own artisan roasted coffee, blended for them by MatthewAlgie. It is a unique blend of beans from growers in Columbia and Vietnam.  Like most companies in our current, caring climate they hold the highest respect for human rights and you can read their Annual Statement regarding modern slavery by clicking this link! Based in Glasgow they employ over 200 people most of whom are based in the city. 

ModernSlavery Prevention 2016

So, get along to The Gardener and savour their delights set almost like a rural haven in the most atmospheric lane in the city.  The foliage and tasteful music will get you in the mood for a proper, adult evening which will be healthy for your mind and intellect.  I did feel very informed about lots of things when I left and, should I say this?

Of course I will…

I don’t usually ‘big up’ G1 venues because I feel they don’t care what the punter or local munter has to say.  However, I do feel this venue is a new direction for them and I wish The Gardener all the best and I see it as a shining star, beaming down on a sea of corporate monotony!  

See you the next time!

#glasgowgirlg1

#tableforone