The Blythswood!

The Blythswood Hotel

So, The Mary and I have decided to go a bit upmarket this week and give The Blythswood Hotel the pleasure of our company.  It’s situated in a part of town that has also been renowned for pleasure of a very different kind.  I remember a time in the 70s when The Mary and I were skint and we decided it might be a good idea to earn some fast cash.  We knew lots of girls who were doing it and thought we’d give it a go. 

Off we went with our robust energy and enthusiasm like two eager little beavers.  Beavers are very keen and start having sex around the age of three.

That’s no right!

Well, the square was very quiet when we arrived and within five minutes I needed to pee.  There was no hiding place and we thought it would be a bit of free advertising if I exposed my bits.   So I went right ahead on the edge of the kerb. 

Like the wee fluffy beavers we did not last long in the wild because prostitutes are a bit like beavers in that they are highly territorial and before we knew it, we were surrounded by an overwhelming stench of fish! 

We got chased right down to George’s square!

Anyway, beavers are mainly vegetarian and both me and The Mary like a good, lean piece of meat.

They do like a bit of fish though as me and The Mary will attest.

Joking aside though, for those who say the sex trade is a job, a choice or a path of liberation, Katie’s story is worth reading.

She is a living example for those who consider prostitution an act of violence against women.

This beautiful building is Located in Glasgow’s vibrant city centre, Blythswood Square Hotel’s classic architecture and modern touches welcome business and leisure travellers alike to enjoy a world-class city and a hotel with ample amenities. You can relax in The Salon bar with a cocktail or Afternoon Tea, or recharge with an exclusive treatment at the award-winning spa.

An oasis in one of Britain’s most engaging cities, Blythswood Square Hotel, Glasgow offers exceptional event suites that are easily tailored to any occasion from weddings and celebrations, to conferences and private social gatherings. Enjoy meals and catering crafted from local ingredients, and ease of planning with help from a dedicated event manager.

Just this week they won ‘Best in the West’ at the Prestige Hotel Awards!

On arrival at the door Liam was charming and ushered us into the restaurant like two Hollywood stars.  The Sala was very chic and we had a table near the window looking out onto the gorgeous square.  The service was excellent and George told us about Greece and he and The Mary totally excluded me from a conversation that was all Greek to me anyway.  Kasia, one of our servers, was so charming and had the loveliest Liverpool accent.  I could have listened to her all evening but kept interrupting and The Mary had fallen asleep anyway.

Time for home and I have to say it was one of the nicest and most welcoming evenings we have had for a long time!

Oh, the food was great and very good value but for us it’s not about the food.  Life should be lived and experiences are much more valuable in the long run.

Thank you to Γεώργιος, Kasia, Neil, Liam and anyone else we might have missed!

Till the next time.

Mx 

Two Fat Ladies!

Two Fat Ladies

If The Mary and I carry-on the way we are we will actually be two, very fat ladies.  Well, the term ‘ladies’ is stretching it a bit after what I did at the weekend.  Rusty’s Erotic Escapades will be coming out soon; watch this space!  I need a wee bit more experience first.  Only on the first chapter but catching up really fast.

Anyway, off we go toTwo Fat Ladies which opened in 2005 and we are up for some serious fish with a ‘great city buzz’.  Town was so quiet tonight and the wind was exceptionally strong resulting in The Mary being hit by a fish which had blown out of the Clyde.  Slapped her right on the face, so she took offence to awe the fish and opted for the chicken. 

I said I fancied the same and she smacked me right across the dish and then said it was an accident. She said she didn’t mean to stand up, reach across the table, arm extended and come down forceful right in the direction of my head.  She said she’s fed-up with me copying her!

Aye right!  

This gave me a flashback to one night in the Calton when someone called me a ‘cheeky wee cow’ but I wasn’t on the receiving end of her fist that time.   Mary skelped the bejesus out of this pure, wee, stank beast. 

Now, that’s the pal you need in your life.

88 is the bingo number for Two Fat Ladies and that’s self-explanatory but not so much 83 which is seemingly means stop farting; work that out.  I canna keep up with this modern, emoji and symbolic nonsense.   I like real words in proper sentences.  I'm a proper grown up women for goodness sake!

My favorite is 60 ‘cause, this grandma’s 'getting frisky'.  They say life begins at 40 but I’m not so sure now.  I’m so ready for what’s coming my way this year. 

Then of course there’s 69…that always makes me giggle!  

So, here we are in the very attractive interior which has an underwater theme which makes The Mary a bit jumpy.  I imagine fish jumping out at her from the menu and nearly pish myself laughing. Then she threatens me with her blunt, but very beautiful, butter knife. 

Whit? 

Is she going to spread me to death?  She’s awfie aggressive the night.

The service provided from Attractive Andy is very friendly and he was always discretely on hand providing a smooth and efficient service.

The two course menu with a drink had a varied and included a choice of fish, meat and vegetarian option.  I never go for the latter unless it’s cake!  Great value at £16 book through 5pm.com!

Food was delicious, Place is charming and the service was excellent so we’ll be back!

On the way back to the car The Mary put her jacket over her head and fell flat on her face because she couldn’t see where she was going.  Deserves her right!

I had the last laugh which was a right slap on her chicken filled dish!

Oh, on the way home I did this!

Mx

See y’all next week!

Mx

Celino's

Coming soon!
Mx

Rogano!

Rogano

In 1935, as the great Cunard liner 'Queen Mary' took shape on the Clyde, a restaurant was refitted in the same Art Deco style and a Glasgow legend was born.

With its unique 1930's ambience, Rogano is the oldest surviving restaurant in Glasgow. For over seventy-five years its chefs have dedicated themselves to the delicate art of cooking and serving the finest fish and seafood in the world from Scottish waters.  I’ve not been about that long and I sometimes wonder where all the auld timers that used to go to Rogano and Charlie Parker’s are.

I got barred from Parker’s once for stealing a chip off someone’s plate but they let me right back in the following week because the takings were down.  I had bad, girl power then all right.

Rogano was one of my favorite haunts in the late 70s.  I used to sit at the bar smoking cocktail cigarettes with gold tips.  They were called Sobranie and I must have looked like a fanny trying to match my fags to my outfit.  It’s also ironic they had Sobr… in the name; ‘cause I was usually smashed when partaking in this most repellant of habits.  Don’t remember the guys being repelled right enough!

Sobranie

As soon as we walked in The Mary said, ‘There’s something no right here; smells a bit fishy.’   I did suggest she had been very busy with the weans all day and it might be her but she was pure offended and I had to backtrack and say, ‘oh aye, I forgot this is a fish restaurant.’ 

Saved by the smell!

For all its ‘inimitable style’ the place is very welcoming and friendly and well situated in the very centre of town near the very stylish Buchanan Street and Princes Square.

Tianna who took us to the table was more than helpful and explained the Market Menu to us and it was brilliant and quite extensive.  You pick two courses and the food was very good value and the fish and chips was one of the best I’ve had.  Lovely, flaky fish and a light crispy batter.  I then had a very big portion of the sticky Toffee Pudding and I struggled with it which is unusual for me.

Sarah, our server was delightful and pretty.  All in all, it was very good but for me and The Mary it’s not always about the food but more about the experience.

Looking towards next week, which will be a total washout , we’ll be face with miserable bastards who are taking their burds out a night early to avoid the hike in prices.

Do not go out next Monday...it will be the worst might of the year.  Nearly as bad a the 14th itself which is by far the quietest night of the year...because they're all miserable!

Do not go girls.  If they ask you to go out any other night …dump them or take 'im 'round the swannie pon' and chuck him in.

Yes, of course it’s Valentine’s Day and neither me or The Mary are too bothered about that at all.  Actually, women always say that when there are no other prospects on the day itself.  We all pretend not to bother but actually…we do…very much! 

It’s as if the day was invented to cause murder and make people feel bad about themselves and doubt every relationship they’ve ever had.

It’s said that on February 14^th about 278 A.D. a priest in Rome was executed under the rule of Claudius the Cruel there were many murderous and bloody campaigns.  You could say it’s the same today and that’s probably because of the amount of men who make the mistake of saying things like;

“No other relationship in my life could compare to the love we share, I’m enamored by your tender touch, your ravishing body and your beautiful face!”

Now, is it just me, or would you no just punch him square in the face?

Or

“When we kiss, I feel excitement like the thrill of a rollercoaster, the sky filled with fireworks on the fourth of July, or the rush of awaterfall. 

You’d be searching his pockets for drugs!

The truth what girls want, (not women, we want good sex and cake) is to be taken out on a boat to a place in the middle of a lake that’s cover with swans.  Like in The Notebook.  I love that scene.

That’s reminded me of when we stayed in Bridgeton.  Once, on a beautiful Summer’s day me and my sister went to The Richmond Park and she shoved me in the ‘swannie pond’’.  It was thick with mud and she stood laughing while I sunk further in and then got belted when I got home because I had no shoes on.  They got sucked right in and I was off school for six weeks till I got a new pair.

Anyway as far as St Valentine’s Day is concerned we should take a leaf from Claudius’s book; ban marriage and engagements altogether.  There should be no rules or observance of binding contracts and everyone should be able to do what they like; with whoever they want; without being bound by law or love!

Why is there not an option on Facebook for a sexual relationship?

That would suit me perfectly!

I've always been a romantic.

See you the next time!

Mx