Wednesday, 8 February 2017

Celino's

Coming soon!
Mx

Rogano!






In 1935, as the great Cunard liner 'Queen Mary' took shape on the Clyde, a restaurant was refitted in the same Art Deco style and a Glasgow legend was born.

With its unique 1930's ambience, Rogano is the oldest surviving restaurant in Glasgow. For over seventy-five years its chefs have dedicated themselves to the delicate art of cooking and serving the finest fish and seafood in the world from Scottish waters.  I’ve not been about that long and I sometimes wonder where all the auld timers that used to go to Rogano and Charlie Parker’s are.

I got barred from Parker’s once for stealing a chip off someone’s plate but they let me right back in the following week because the takings were down.  I had bad, girl power then all right.

Rogano was one of my favorite haunts in the late 70s.  I used to sit at the bar smoking cocktail cigarettes with gold tips.  They were called Sobranie and I must have looked like a fanny trying to match my fags to my outfit.  It’s also ironic they had Sobr… in the name; ‘cause I was usually smashed when partaking in this most repellant of habits.  Don’t remember the guys being repelled right enough!





As soon as we walked in The Mary said, ‘There’s something no right here; smells a bit fishy.’   I did suggest she had been very busy with the weans all day and it might be her but she was pure offended and I had to backtrack and say, ‘oh aye, I forgot this is a fish restaurant.’ 

Saved by the smell!

For all its ‘inimitable style’ the place is very welcoming and friendly and well situated in the very centre of town near the very stylish Buchanan Street and Princes Square.

Tianna who took us to the table was more than helpful and explained the Market Menu to us and it was brilliant and quite extensive.  You pick two courses and the food was very good value and the fish and chips was one of the best I’ve had.  Lovely, flaky fish and a light crispy batter.  I then had a very big portion of the sticky Toffee Pudding and I struggled with it which is unusual for me.

Sarah, our server was delightful and pretty.  All in all, it was very good but for me and The Mary it’s not always about the food but more about the experience.

Looking towards next week, which will be a total washout , we’ll be face with miserable bastards who are taking their burds out a night early to avoid the hike in prices.

Do not go out next Monday...it will be the worst might of the year.  Nearly as bad a the 14th itself which is by far the quietest night of the year...because they're all miserable!

Do not go girls.  If they ask you to go out any other night …dump them or take 'im 'round the swannie pon' and chuck him in.


Yes, of course it’s Valentine’s Day and neither me or The Mary are too bothered about that at all.  Actually, women always say that when there are no other prospects on the day itself.  We all pretend not to bother but actually…we do…very much! 

It’s as if the day was invented to cause murder and make people feel bad about themselves and doubt every relationship they’ve ever had.



It’s said that on February 14th about 278 A.D. a priest in Rome was executed under the rule of Claudius the Cruel there were many murderous and bloody campaigns.  You could say it’s the same today and that’s probably because of the amount of men who make the mistake of saying things like;


Now, is it just me, or would you no just punch him square in the face?

Or


You’d be searching his pockets for drugs!

The truth what girls want, (not women, we want good sex and cake) is to be taken out on a boat to a place in the middle of a lake that’s cover with swans.  Like in The Notebook.  I love that scene.

That’s reminded me of when we stayed in Bridgeton.  Once, on a beautiful Summer’s day me and my sister went to The Richmond Park and she shoved me in the ‘swannie pond’’.  It was thick with mud and she stood laughing while I sunk further in and then got belted when I got home because I had no shoes on.  They got sucked right in and I was off school for six weeks till I got a new pair.




Anyway as far as St Valentine’s Day is concerned we should take a leaf from Claudius’s book; ban marriage and engagements altogether.  There should be no rules or observance of binding contracts and everyone should be able to do what they like; with whoever they want; without being bound by law or love!

Why is there not an option on Facebook for a sexual relationship?

That would suit me perfectly!

I've always been a romantic.

See you the next time!


Mx

Friday, 3 February 2017

The Corinthian Club







Now, I know I’ve been in The Corinthian lots of times but the other night there was something very different about it.  It felt strangely homely and Melissa who greeted us was so genuinely friendly.  My previous visits have been met with; what I can only describe as cool aloofness, served with an air of grandiosity.  So much so that I had said I’d never go back.

I’m so glad I gave it another chance!

This beautiful building was one of the finest 18th Century private residencies built for a City Merchant named George Buchanan.  He inherited the land from his father and the ground was farm land.   Basically it was a cabbage patch and had to be cleared away before building could begin.  Now the Place more fragrantly Coco Chanel than cabbage soup.


 In 1920 the original building was renovated and became a judiciary court and some of the country’s finest Victorian interiors were ‘hidden behind panels and false walls’.  



Now, if you go in at the weekend, it’s not the false walls you need to be concerned with but getting your eyes knocked out with fake boobs.  Also, I met a lassie I hadn’t seen for years in the toilet one night and her lips were that big she got stuck to my cheek.  It was really embarrassing and we had to get a chef to come with a spatula to wrench her off me. 

I’ll just wave the next time I see her.

By the way if any of you are thinking about enhancements then you need to go to the best in Glasgow.  These are professionals who are also very fabulous in all respects!




So now for the food. We chose the market menu and although The Mary and I usually choose something different; we both plumped for the chicken.  It did not disappoint.  With a lovely sauce the chicken was succulent and very tasty.  Likewise, the dauphinoise potatoes were creamy, moist, velvety, deliciously flavored and mouthwateringly sensual.  I can honestly say I have never had a near sexual experience with a potato; or any other vegetable until now!

Fruit is another matter altogether.  Me and fruit have a long history.

Did you know that coconut oil can enhance your mood and is great for massage but please use responsibly as it is also known to damage latex condoms?  Is coconut fruit; I’m unsure?  Bananas, strawberries and cherries, you could say, are evidently and sexually symbolic.  I’ve popped my cherry many a time.  


So I’d like to thank Christopher, our server, for his fabulous service and great, cheery chat.  He even offered to take photos without us asking him.  I know it takes a lot of time during the service to add on time for staff to take photos of customers; so he went above and beyond by taking the time to do this.

So, there we were, me, The Mary and Rosaria sitting in grandeur, underneath the iconic Corinthian dome in a space where many an illicit lawbreaker has been taken down.  So in the words of Donald Findlay, although I think he was talking about Ibrox, “for me personally tradition and history is in” that building, right there, at 191 Ingram Street, in the heart of my wonderful City!



If Rosaria and Gary are reading this, it’s in Ingram Street at number 191!

See you the next time!

Mx



Tuesday, 24 January 2017

Amore!







 When we started this blog it was never about the food.  It was about a relationship and we wanted to share our funny stories and escapades with The Mary’s grandchildren so they knew what she was doing when we were out.

Last night we went to one of the Mary’s Favorites and for once we were quiet, contemplating the twists and turns our lives have taken and appreciating how lucky we are to have each other. 

The food was brilliant and she said the focaccia was fabulous but none of that mattered. What did matter was that we were there, together, on what was a very difficult day for the both of us, for very different reasons.




When I met The Mary many, many years ago there was an instant attraction.  She was attracted to my fabulously sunny disposition and my bright, ginger hair.  For my part I was fascinated by her stay-press trousers and V-neck, Pringle jumpers.

Before I knew it I was wearing sharply pressed, beige trousers and she was dying her hair auburn.  Well, not exactly but we have been inseparable since that first day when I gave her some amount of cheek.  My upbringing taught me to be sharp, cheeky and stand offish at first then, if people couldn’t tolerate that; there was no way they could handle me in any other capacity. 

I know I’m hard work!

Forty odd years later we buy the same polo neck jumpers; I still talk shite and The Mary listens intently, with a slight air of distain whilst nodding with a hint of disinterest.  She’s going through a very tough time at the moment and I attempt to make her laugh by sprinkling my very annoying sparkle all over her.  I overwhelm her with talk of hair, make-up and clothes using my distraction techniques in an attempt to absorb some of her pain.

I’ve met someone very special and I tell her stories about him, sometimes, well most of the time, I embellish my tales with romantic interludes that, do, or do not, happen and she’s so happy for me.  With everything else she has to deal with she makes time for me.  I honestly don’t know how she copes with my nonsense, never mind my incessant talking and habit of exaggerating every detail of the boloney I natter about.

I had one of the best meals I've had for a while this week and it was made by none other than The Mary.  Even though she had 4 children to look after and had been up and down visiting at the Royal she still made a delicious dinner for me and another friend Jessie.  My pal is a truly amazing woman and I am so proud to call her my friend!





They say a soulmate is a person who has a lock that fits our key and a someone we feel safe enough with to let them walk through the door, knowing we are safe, whatever the situation.  With this person we can be true to who we are, be completely honest and be loved no matter what else is going on around us.  

I have this with The Mary and ours’ is a true, story of love that’s survived romance, tragedy and unbearable heartbreak on both sides but through all of this we are unconditionally committed to each other.

Always have been…
Always will be!

Mx