Tuesday, 9 October 2018

Mharsanta!


(Gaelic for Merchant)
Had the Merchant of Venice been from Glasgow he would have been called Mharsanta de Glaschu (pronounced ‘Var-Santah de Glassie-coo)!
Not easy to say after a few drams I’m sure!
In Shakespeare’s masterpiece poor Bassiano borrowed money from his pal Antonio to woe the classy Portia and in doing so put his friendship and his friend’s life at risk. There are many lessons to be learned from this story. Firstly guys, if have to buy a girl’s time and favour, is it worth having? Secondly, you should never put anything; love, lust or money before friendship.
Love, they say, should last forever and we all know it is but a promise. There are vows and contracts but no guarantees. True friends love you for who you are, not what you have. I’d much rather be ‘in like’ with someone than in love with an ideal!
All that glistens isn’t gold and lust can make you blind but lovers can’t see the ‘pretty follies they, themselves, commit’. Sometimes judgement can be ‘blinded by young limbs’ and a fool and his gold can be easily parted. We all know fancy is bred in the groin and not the head. All I want is mirth and laughter to deepen my lovely lines then my worn face will be my legacy.
I got a bit carried away there and, ‘in one fell swoop’ have paraphrased some of the bard’s wisdom. ‘In my mind’s eye’ Shakespeare was the king of the cliché and we loved him for it. As stated in Othello ‘I wear my heart on my sleeve’ and I don’t care if the fabric is new or vintage; what matters is who wants to be on my arm and who loves me for who I am and if not, then ‘good riddance’!
The Mary and I are off to exact a pound of fleshy sausages in Merchant City and we’re looking for a bargain so as we don’t need a Shylock. When the going gets melancholy this Glasgow Girl reaches out to her friends in much the same way Bassiano did with Antonio, and my girls, especially The Mary, are always there to lend me an ear!
Mharsanta has opened on the former site of Pancho Villas on Bell Street and they promise; ‘the very best experience from the moment you walk through the door’. Of what I’m not sure but I am, none the less, excited and we’re choosing from the Pre-theatre menu.
I decided on the Wild mushroom delight which was drenched in gorgeous garlic and creamy sauce with shaved Grana Padano, served on toasted soda bread. Oh, my Lord it was indecently salacious! If you order this be careful what you have for seconds because it’s quite filling and I was devastated because I actually left some food on my plate for the first time in about 15 years!
I then had the scrumptious steak and sausage pie with buttery mash and seasonal vegetable and it was absolutely, Scottishly perfect. The Mary opted for Shetland Mussels then Mince and tatties.
She had a problem with this dish in that it had a Poached, Hen’s egg perched on top. She looked scared when it arrived and said it reminded her of an old boyfriend who only had one eye and he always loved how she cooked her mince. She thought, in some way, he’s come back to haunt her. Seriously, what a load of mince!
I explained to The Mary how it might be because in the old days they could have tried to add extra protein or maybe Mharsanta had an overenthusiastic hen in the back yard. I also hit out with loads of other theories about ‘the evil eye’ and how an egg might protect us from vampires and witches.
After this full-on discussion about this I asked the lovely server Eilidh why it was there, to which she replied;
“Not sure actually!”
So, there you bloody well go hen!
No rhyme nor reason for the egg!
As my auld pal Wullie S. would say;
“All’s well that ends well!”
See you the next time!
Me and The Mary.
Mx

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