Red Blooded Glasgow Girl
Image by Getty Images (BlackJack3D)
St Valentine has a lot to answer for!
Another year and another table for one!
Don't get me wrong it's my choice to be on my own but seriously, even my independent, confident heart leaks when overwhelmed with a barrage of blood, red hearts and flowers. Especially when I'm digesting Haggis and still have left over christmas pudding in the cupboard
Nothing was further from my mind when I went shopping for a 21st birthday card and yet, there I was, faced with promises to ‘love you forever’, ‘always in my heart’ and proclamations of ‘undying love’!
To be perfectly honest, my craving is for an evening of sexual desire with no promise of eternal lust because, if done properly, it’s bloody exhausting and once a year, well maybe once a week, is enough.
I’m a busy girl!
When I was young and fresh I always had cards to open on 14th February. One year I got 14 but most of them were from friends of my younger brothers, stating what they’d like to do to me. It was flattering and terrifying in equal measures.
In a previous life my gorgeous man always worked on Valentines day and sometimes I even went with him to help out. We agreed it was one of the quietest and most uncomfortable evenings of the year in hospitality. Especially when some spontaneous, knee bender proposed.
Pure Riddie!
The mortified victim was usually forced to say yes in order to save embarrassment and get him off his knees while everyone in the restaurant looked on. Then you could sense a raging air of disappointed from the other 'plus ones', sitting there, getting drunk, thinking, ‘how embarrassing’ but all the while, wishing it was them faced with a sparkly, suggestion of eternity.
I still have the very first Valentine’s card my husband gave me. It winds up to play 'My Funny Valentine'! There was always a small, precious and thoughtful gift to open on the evening we'd planned, with food, wine, music and romance, far from the maddening 14th!
Being together with someone you're fond of should always be special, especially if intimacy is involved. Although sex, like everything else, has become too available and in some ways less precious. ‘Forever’ appears to be fanciful delusion in our very, fast paced, transient, click of a button culture.
So, all you lovers out there; go buy your cards before they're sold out or you’ll need to present your loved-up one with an Easter egg; they're in the shops already too!
You could always place a sparkly surprise inside to make up for your tardiness!
This Valentines day I'll be donating Blood, with no sweat or tears!
Happy Valentine's Day when,
It...
You...
or your lover comes!
XXX
Click this link to find out where you can donate blood!
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