The Battlefield Rest

The Battlefield Rest

I'm humped and it's only Wednesday!

However, I'm happy to be stopping on the way home for a rest on a site of the Battleground where Mary Queen of Scots fought her last battle. Most of my battles are fought in my head and by the time I approach a likely victim I'm too tired and no longer interested.

The Battle in my Head?  Now that would be a great title for a book...watch this space!

The Battlefield Rest site was originally used for 'resting and courting' so I might be in luck and find an old-fashioned, chivalrous suitor.

I've not been very well recently because of a kissing deficiency. It's sort of self inflicted and caused by severe reaction to intimate contact. It's brought on mainly by boredom, lack of enthusiasm and the wish to be swept away by laughter and good chat! Maybe, if I'd shut my gub, stop talking and eating, a guy could get look, or even a word in.

Maybe even a tongue?

Some very attentive guys seem to think they can remedy my condition.

When one of the weaker sex recently asked for my number so he could prescribe me a snog I replied;

"I'm alright Jack because the thing is, if I give you my phone number; you'll only phone me, ask me out for dinner and then...?"

Well...it's never really just dinner or a kiss is it?

Marco Giannasi, who owns The Battlefield Rest, is a charming man with a cheeky, gorgeous smile.
Bet he's a good kisser?

All the best kissing remedies are either attached to their spousal labre, have been rejected like a dose of herpes or are playing in a field of available, willing, liberated and fabulously female predators.

Women no longer sit back and wait, they are warriors ruling a battlefield of more than willing, testosterone filled, foot soldiers.

Me, I'm quite happy, right  here in The Battlefield Rest-ing and wrapping my chops around a juicy, beef fillet with a crusty, haggis and black pudding polpettes. Then dressing my tongue with a creamy Clock Tower covered in crushed Amaretto. If that's not enough I could have Rob Roy's Cup overflowing with deliciously, fresh strawberries drenched in a saucy liquor.

Why bother with the stress of dating when it's all right there, at your lips and cutlery tips, in the wonderful Battlefield Rest?

So, here I am in my cosy bed, basking in the afterglow of one of Glasgow's most imposing towers of Italian Cuisine which is still standing the test of time!

Pass me a cigarette please!
Buona Notte!

To book your table click here!