All Bar One

All Bar One

I don’t normally do a blog without The Mary but there a few places in town that are so welcoming that I often go in myself.  There is not a time when I pass by to say hello or go in for food to All Bar One that I am not welcomed with hugs and kisses; and that’s just the girls!

Granted, my daughter works there but that’s not the point.  It is one of the busiest bars in town but when I sit and peruse, which is often, I see the staff smiling and chatting in such a genuine and friendly way that it makes me want to linger longer.

I found out from a friend of mine recently that it’s actually one of the best pick-up joints in town and I was totally unaware of this.  Maybe because I wasn’t interested but I had been curious as to why guys often winked, nodded and smiled.  The first time I went in I thought it was a Tourette’s convention or something?  I kept looking over my shoulder to see whose attention they were trying to attract!   

I just google ‘dodgy guy winking’ for that image but misspelt winking and I got a right fright with the  images that popped up. They literally, came, up on my feed.  

Educationally beneficial though because I actually didn’t know there were so many different shapes and sizes.  Size I could understand but I’d never actually seen such a large, bendy member!  I'm a bit lacking in experience in the Willie department!

Who clicked on that link then?

Funny!

All Bar One is a very stylish city bar where you can catch up with friends, unwind after work or simply find a sophisticated space to indulge in an excellent selection of food and drink!

Within easy reach of Glasgow Central, Argyle Street and Buchanan, it is the perfect place to meet up with friends or unwind with work colleagues. Of all the bars in Glasgow, they’ve got the right blend of food, drink and atmosphere at any time of day.

I never feel uncomfortable going into any place myself but it is made particularly easy here because of the set up.  There is an eclectic mix of benches, high tables, easy chairs and small round tables to choose from.

So the next time you’re in town pop in for a drink, coffee food and chat and you will be made more than welcome.

I love the Tapas Tuesday whereby two people can eat 4 Tapas and have a bottle of wine for £20 which I amazing value for money and I would recommend the prawns which are so succulent and tasty they made me dribble!

Made me feel right at home because if you’re there after nine all the guys at the bar are dribbling down the cleavages of the local, tasty lassies!  

Some of the the local talent even Glow in the dark...and that's just the guys!

Afraid that will never affect me as I’m usually home and tucked up with a cup of herbal!  Also, cannae go all the bullshit.  If I was to start dating I wouldn’t waste any time with small talk and get right down to business.  Life’s too short and I need to be asleep b about 10 anyway!

But who knows……?

See you text time!

Mx

The Blythswood!

The Blythswood Hotel

So, The Mary and I have decided to go a bit upmarket this week and give The Blythswood Hotel the pleasure of our company.  It’s situated in a part of town that has also been renowned for pleasure of a very different kind.  I remember a time in the 70s when The Mary and I were skint and we decided it might be a good idea to earn some fast cash.  We knew lots of girls who were doing it and thought we’d give it a go. 

Off we went with our robust energy and enthusiasm like two eager little beavers.  Beavers are very keen and start having sex around the age of three.

That’s no right!

Well, the square was very quiet when we arrived and within five minutes I needed to pee.  There was no hiding place and we thought it would be a bit of free advertising if I exposed my bits.   So I went right ahead on the edge of the kerb. 

Like the wee fluffy beavers we did not last long in the wild because prostitutes are a bit like beavers in that they are highly territorial and before we knew it, we were surrounded by an overwhelming stench of fish! 

We got chased right down to George’s square!

Anyway, beavers are mainly vegetarian and both me and The Mary like a good, lean piece of meat.

They do like a bit of fish though as me and The Mary will attest.

Joking aside though, for those who say the sex trade is a job, a choice or a path of liberation, Katie’s story is worth reading.

She is a living example for those who consider prostitution an act of violence against women.

This beautiful building is Located in Glasgow’s vibrant city centre, Blythswood Square Hotel’s classic architecture and modern touches welcome business and leisure travellers alike to enjoy a world-class city and a hotel with ample amenities. You can relax in The Salon bar with a cocktail or Afternoon Tea, or recharge with an exclusive treatment at the award-winning spa.

An oasis in one of Britain’s most engaging cities, Blythswood Square Hotel, Glasgow offers exceptional event suites that are easily tailored to any occasion from weddings and celebrations, to conferences and private social gatherings. Enjoy meals and catering crafted from local ingredients, and ease of planning with help from a dedicated event manager.

Just this week they won ‘Best in the West’ at the Prestige Hotel Awards!

On arrival at the door Liam was charming and ushered us into the restaurant like two Hollywood stars.  The Sala was very chic and we had a table near the window looking out onto the gorgeous square.  The service was excellent and George told us about Greece and he and The Mary totally excluded me from a conversation that was all Greek to me anyway.  Kasia, one of our servers, was so charming and had the loveliest Liverpool accent.  I could have listened to her all evening but kept interrupting and The Mary had fallen asleep anyway.

Time for home and I have to say it was one of the nicest and most welcoming evenings we have had for a long time!

Oh, the food was great and very good value but for us it’s not about the food.  Life should be lived and experiences are much more valuable in the long run.

Thank you to Γεώργιος, Kasia, Neil, Liam and anyone else we might have missed!

Till the next time.

Mx 

Two Fat Ladies!

Two Fat Ladies

If The Mary and I carry-on the way we are we will actually be two, very fat ladies.  Well, the term ‘ladies’ is stretching it a bit after what I did at the weekend.  Rusty’s Erotic Escapades will be coming out soon; watch this space!  I need a wee bit more experience first.  Only on the first chapter but catching up really fast.

Anyway, off we go toTwo Fat Ladies which opened in 2005 and we are up for some serious fish with a ‘great city buzz’.  Town was so quiet tonight and the wind was exceptionally strong resulting in The Mary being hit by a fish which had blown out of the Clyde.  Slapped her right on the face, so she took offence to awe the fish and opted for the chicken. 

I said I fancied the same and she smacked me right across the dish and then said it was an accident. She said she didn’t mean to stand up, reach across the table, arm extended and come down forceful right in the direction of my head.  She said she’s fed-up with me copying her!

Aye right!  

This gave me a flashback to one night in the Calton when someone called me a ‘cheeky wee cow’ but I wasn’t on the receiving end of her fist that time.   Mary skelped the bejesus out of this pure, wee, stank beast. 

Now, that’s the pal you need in your life.

88 is the bingo number for Two Fat Ladies and that’s self-explanatory but not so much 83 which is seemingly means stop farting; work that out.  I canna keep up with this modern, emoji and symbolic nonsense.   I like real words in proper sentences.  I'm a proper grown up women for goodness sake!

My favorite is 60 ‘cause, this grandma’s 'getting frisky'.  They say life begins at 40 but I’m not so sure now.  I’m so ready for what’s coming my way this year. 

Then of course there’s 69…that always makes me giggle!  

So, here we are in the very attractive interior which has an underwater theme which makes The Mary a bit jumpy.  I imagine fish jumping out at her from the menu and nearly pish myself laughing. Then she threatens me with her blunt, but very beautiful, butter knife. 

Whit? 

Is she going to spread me to death?  She’s awfie aggressive the night.

The service provided from Attractive Andy is very friendly and he was always discretely on hand providing a smooth and efficient service.

The two course menu with a drink had a varied and included a choice of fish, meat and vegetarian option.  I never go for the latter unless it’s cake!  Great value at £16 book through 5pm.com!

Food was delicious, Place is charming and the service was excellent so we’ll be back!

On the way back to the car The Mary put her jacket over her head and fell flat on her face because she couldn’t see where she was going.  Deserves her right!

I had the last laugh which was a right slap on her chicken filled dish!

Oh, on the way home I did this!

Mx

See y’all next week!

Mx