The story of Rip Van Winkle is set in the Catskill Mountains before
the American Revolution. It was a “region full of fable”, holding many memories
within its mounds.
My story is set in Glasgow where many people have come and gone but
The Mary is omnipresent and, likewise, my love for her is boundless! That’s
why, tonight, against my better judgement, I’ve ended up in the Calton District
to check out Van Winkle.
This area has changed so much in the past 20 years and is evident
in the statistics regarding life expectancy of the local inhabitants. 54 years
is often quoted but, with the population increasing by 36% since 2001, the
estimate is now 68 for men and 77 for women. The value of housing stock has
also risen by 31%.
The Mary was born there and it’s where she lived when I met her
and, like Rip Van Winkle in the Mountains of Native America, it’s a place
filled with tales of battles, ghosts and spirits. Me and The Mary have had many
a scary night in Glasgow. In fact, she reminded me of one, in this very place,
when it was called Eastenders.
It was 1983 and normal to encounter the local ‘working girls’
having a wee night out. It was always great fun with James Hughes, the local
‘cabaret’ artist, providing great entertainment. However, on that occasion my
sister knocked one of the ‘girls’ off her chair and when I went to apologise,
on her behalf, the lassie took an instant loathing to me!
The ensuing fracas resulted in The Mary running round to the
Traders Tavern for reinforcements to come and rescue us. The Clark sisters arrived in about two
minutes, like fabulously, happy and excited, raging warriors. The party was
just getting started for them.
I remember sitting terrified in the escape car outside, waiting for
my mum to come out, while one of the wild, working, lassies was banging on the
bonnet shouting,
“I’m gonnae f***king bottle
that wee, ugly, posh, snooty, Ginger c**t!”
I was mortally offended because I’d never thought of myself as a
snob!
Like Rip Van Winkle, the Calton had been asleep for about 20 years
but is now experiencing a renaissance and fast becoming a vibrant, cultural and
important centre of creativity, regeneration and the arts.
Van Winkle has a very cool vibe and the décor is cosily industrial
which is not that easy to do. They have corrugated iron on the walls, crude,
grainy wooden tables and old school chairs making it both regular and eclectic
at the same time. They have truly revived and reclaimed the venue as their own
with panache and gritty realism.
For starters we had Buttermilk Chicken Tenders with bourbon,
buffalo, extra hot sauce and the Buffalo Wings. The Mary’s eyes nearly popped
when she tried it. I had naughtily said
it wasn’t so hot but it was actually nearly as hot as a guy I’d been dating’s
new squeeze. Even I fancy her, so I’m not hurt or offended at all…I’m not…not
really…well maybe a wee bit!
We then had burgers and they were deliciously meaty with melted,
dripping cheese which I licked off my arm with glee. Later that evening I found
some which had trickled down my bra and I scooped it out relishing tender
memories of the evening and the past few weeks of fun, rollicks and terrific
scran.
Regarding my recent encounters of the casual kind I sent him a
message saying,
“Well
done you and thanks for the beautiful memories!”
And well-done Van Winkle if
it isn’t broken don’t fix it. Me and The
Mary will be back but, in the meantime, keep doing what you’re doing especially
the two coursers for £11!
Today there is so much choice
in every aspect of life and maybe we should learn to have some loyalty. If you
ever want to be truly happy then give things a chance. Like dating, when you find
something amazing, try to build on it without constantly trawling for something
glossier.
Businesses open and close in
Glasgow every week, hearts are broken, illusions shattered and lives are
wasting away along with reputation and hopefulness. Even if you don’t frequent
a place or are not too keen on it still try recommending it and don’t ever
decry someone else’s dream.
So, when you find out what
makes your taste buds tingle have respect in the fact someone has taken the
time to prepare, nurture and present it for your pleasure. If your tingle
fades, it’s not their fault it’s something lacking in you!
See you the next time!
Me and The Mary”
Mx
